I am ANNA

Hey, warrior! Yes, I’m talking to you, reading this message… So a couple of months ago, I doubted myself a bit because I didn’t get chosen for something that I had prayed for, for a while (scratch that, someone said I shouldn’t say “prayed” but instead say praying for since the prayer hasn’t been answered…kinda makes sense)…Anyway, so I didn’t get chosen. I honestly thought something is wrong with me, or maybe I don’t deserve to be selected…My anxiety set in, and I started overthinking this whole situation and every decision I have made in my life…I felt sorry for myself…

But after some encouragement from some great friends I have, I started to believe in myself again…that there’s more to life than not being chosen…Life goes on…I said to myself, screw not being chosen, I AM ANNA. I don’t give up— So instead of having a mindset of “I’ve stopped praying because I prayed for it and I didn’t get it,”…I change my attitude to “I will continue to pray for it until I have it, and I will continue to pray to maintain it”…I also added another twist to my prayer, I asked God to give me peace in my heart and mind so that I will be at peace with myself while waiting for an answer (p.s: this wasn’t just an “our father prayer,” sometimes you got to get on your knees and have a serious conversation with God…that’s the kind of prayer I’m talking about).

Maybe you were expecting to be chosen, or you have been praying for something, and when the time came, you didn’t get selected…It doesn’t mean you’re not worth it, or something is wrong with you…YOU ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL AND WORTHY OF EVERYTHING GOOD! Just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t; even if it doesn’t happen, there’s more to life than feeling sorry for yourself…It is hard to hear and hard to do, but find a suitable space to be happy regardless of what you have or don’t have…and don’t give up praying for the things you don’t have…most importantly, pray to be at peace with yourself regardless…

Until then, I’ll stay peaceful in my heart and mind and continue to pray…and do what’s in the picture attached🧘🏾‍♀️

—卂♡︎✌︎︎

Judas wasn’t an Enemy•••

It’s not everyone who’s against you in life, is an enemy, especially when they are family member•••that’s one man’s opinion (me). Don’t get me wrong, there’s evil in some people, but I also think sometimes people fall victims to the stressors of life•••spiritually speaking, the devil always uses people to do his dirty works•••

Connecting to the Bible: In Luke 22:3-6, it says: “Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve. And he went his way and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him (Jesus) unto them. And they were glad and covenanted to give him money. And he promised, and sought opportunity to betray him unto them in the absence of the multitude.” ‬‬I believe it was Judas job to betray Jesus, and Jesus knew this and why it has to happen•••Jesus never referred to Judas as His enemy; never once did He called him an enemy•••He still cared for Judas.

We might not understand why some people will want to cause pain to others•••most often, why people close to us will hurt us•••the thing is•••some people don’t have enough strength or ability to resist the compulsion to engage in evil•••everyone is born with both good and dark side, the one we feed on more surfaces •••some people are good at disciplining themselves and restricting their dark side•••other aren’t•••

In Christianity, we attribute this strength to overcome sin to walking cautiously in spirit•••Galatians 5:16-26 “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking, and envying each other.” ‭

So sometimes people who inflict pain on us might be victims as well•••we may not see it as such•••and it will take grace to come to such realization, to see someone who has hurt us as a victim who needs our help•••a victim in need of our forgiveness and loving-kindness•••

—卂♡︎

Understand the Difference

There’s a difference between knowing who you are as a person and loving yourself•••some people can understand themselves too well to know what is good for them versus what is not good, but they might not love or have the courage enough to go for what is suitable for them•••someone can have a good understanding of who they are and what can be beneficial to them but still settle for a mediocre life due to lack of confidence or not having enough love oneself•••

If you know who you are and you love yourself, you then have the confidence to take a chance•••and there are likelihoods of you making the right decisions for your life•••

If you know yourself and love yourself, you’ll not put yourself in a situation that goes against your values and morals•••There’s a Difference~

#midnightwriteup

—卂♡︎

Aha moment…



Working with children or the youth population hasn’t been one of my favorite jobs. The reason is that I easily get affected by the trauma or whatever struggle they have experienced or are experiencing. I hate to see people, especially someone younger than me, struggles in life for something that they didn’t cause. There have been many times I have cried after listening to a client because I couldn’t bear hearing and seeing a person so young go through so much pain in life.

I had a conversation with a friend about how so many youths are struggling with mental illness. I told him how I mostly get upset with some parents for bringing a child into this world to suffer (Note: I’m referring to the parents who play a part or are the cause of their child’s trauma or mental illness ). Anyway, I said this to my friend, and he replied to me so calmly and so passionately, “no, don’t say that.”… he then continued to say that “every child that is born in this world is destined to be born, and they all have a purpose in this life, and sometimes some people need a background story for their purpose in life.” (p.s: it was one of those aha moments for me)

There is a possibility that some of these children/youth who are struggling with these mental illnesses due to trauma or whatever may be the cause of these struggle, they will overcome these battle. There is hope that things will turn around for these children, and they will become something great in life…and they will have a story to tell …a tale of how they overcame their worse moment in life at a young age…aha moments

P.s: In the spirit of Mental Health Awareness Month, I’ll encourage us all to be mindful, extra kinder, practice/speak hope, spread the awareness of mental health…check on each other, especially the youth and children; sometimes mental illness is not visible, and people with this type of mental illness needs extra love…lookout for signs and symptoms that seems odd or out of the blue from people around you…trust me, it is not easy having your own mind wrestling against you…check out NAMI website for more information about mental health…Be Humane

—卂♡︎☮︎︎

Hope•••


Hope is very tricky•••It comes when we least expect and can quickly vanish when we least expect•••the frightening part of hope is when you lose it, and out of nowhere it finds you again, then you cling to it so tight only to lose it again•••that burns•••

Hope in Christianity
As Christians, we know that God gives hope•••In Roman 15:13, Paul referred to God as “God of Hope” “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

As God can give hope, we should also know He can take away hope through the testing of our faith. A typical example is the story of Abraham…Here is a couple who have been praying for a child, and it didn’t happen when they expected it; they lost all hope because they reached a point in their life where they knew childbearing is impossible•••(at least in Sarah’s case). Then God comes and tells Abraham that He will give him a son… (Genesis 17:16-17). “I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her to be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her. Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?”••• But God did as He has promised, even though they didn’t believe Him due to their old age•••(hope has been restored to Abraham and Sarah)•••Then God told Abraham to sacrifice the only son he has given them…again, (hope is taken away, through testing of faith)•••but God gave hope back to them again•••

Another example is the story of Elijah and the widow in 1 Kings 17:8-24••• The widow didn’t have enough to eat, but because of her kindness to Elijah, God blessed her household with abundant food, and oil•••(hope is given)•••Then the widow lost her son through illness•••(hope is taken)•••then, Elijah prayed for life to be restored to the boy, and God answered him•••(hope is given again)

In Jeremiah 29:11, it says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God intends to give us hope; it is His plan for us•••but sometimes it is necessary that He test us to see how much we care about our relationship with Him•••Sometimes, He takes us through multiple ups and downs to see if we will still love Him•••

ᗪOᑎ’T ᘜIᐯᗴ ᑌᑭ ᕼOᑭᗴ
—卂 ❣︎‭‭

Don’t Fight It•••


Sometimes we try so hard to fight certain things in our lives but the more we fight them, the more we attract them. Something that I have been fighting in my life for so long is empathizing with others. I have always known this quality about myself, and I know how easily my surrounding impacts me. I have tried to understand this trait and why I can’t stop feeling this way for a long time. Sometimes I don’t feel normal because of this attribute; it is not “just a feeling” for me; it is so deep sometimes I find myself pinching myself to destruct to myself.

There are at times I lay on my bed filled with these intense emotions that I can’t make it go away or turn off. Interestingly, of all the careers in the world, I chose one of the careers that require empathy the most. Throughout my education, I’ve kept asking myself why I chose a career field in social work, and I always tell myself maybe this where I am supposed to use my “gift,” so I stopped fighting the gift.

It hasn’t been easy, but I am learning not to be consumed by this gift. Using it to help others makes it worth having it, and what I have learned in life is that sometimes we have to feel uncomfortable to save someone else.

Instead of fighting your gift/talent or being consumed by these rare gifts we sometimes possess, let’s try accepting it and using it to do something good… and let’s try as much as possible to find the healthiest way to control these gifts, so it doesn’t consume us•••

P.s: Music has been my go-to; it helps me have control over my gift.

—卂❣︎

Just Love them•••

Trauma can impact our mental health and can also cause changes in our behavior. Trauma can lead to anxiety, depression, panic attacks, obsessions and compulsions, PTSD, etc. The image above is the difference between a normal brain and the brain of someone with PTSD from a severe trauma experience.

Imagine having a family member with this abnormal brain or being in a relationship with someone with this brain. Have you wondered what goes on with someone with this brain constantly? Do you think such a person lives a normal life?

Trauma doesn’t go away when we experience it; therapy can help us managed it and organize our thoughts, but it doesn’t eradicate the trauma. Even after treatment, someone who has experienced trauma can show symptoms of the trauma. Trauma survivors can experience Insomnia or nightmares even after treatment; they experience fatigue, get startled easily, edginess or agitation, mood swings, withdrawal from others, difficulty concentrating, self-blam, feeling sad, etc.

When you are in a relationship with someone who has experienced trauma, you should exercise patience with such a person. It possible that someone who has experienced trauma may not want to talk about the trauma until they’re ready to do so, give the person space if you care, and you want the person to be part of your life. It takes time, but love conquers all.

-卂♡︎

~Solomon Knew Better

If there is one thing a person must acquire to succeed in every aspect of life, it is Wisdom. Most people today have Intelligence, but not Wisdom, and anyone can be smart in some part of life, but not everyone can have wisdom. Intelligence means “knowing something” and being able to apply what you know. Wisdom, on the other hand, involves a more profound understanding. Having Wisdom provides a more “textured lens for interacting with reality,” it changes your way of thinking.

Let’s get Biblical and Spiritual

Ecclesiastes 7:19 says, “Wisdom makes one wise person more powerful than ten rulers in a city.” This means that one person who possesses wisdom is more potent than ten strong men•••Wisdom is so essential in our world today, especially for those in power to affect change•••It is unacceptable and very dangerous for a leader to lack wisdom. Wisdom keeps society from falling apart; in Christianity, wisdom is a spiritual journey; it keeps a person on the right path with God, their relationship with others and their surrounding•••

Solomon’s prayer for Wisdom (1 Kings 3:5-14)

“In Gibeon the Lord appeared to Solomon in a dream by night: and God said, Ask what I shall give thee. And Solomon said, Thou hast shewed unto thy servant David my father great mercy, according as he walked before thee in truth, and in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with thee; and thou hast kept for him this great kindness, that thou hast given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day. And now, O Lord my God, thou hast made thy servant king instead of David my father: and I am but a little child: I know not how to go out or come in. And thy servant is in the midst of thy people which thou hast chosen, a great people, that cannot be numbered nor counted for multitude. Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people? And the speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing. And God said unto him, Because thou hast asked this thing, and hast not asked for thyself long life; neither hast asked riches for thyself, nor hast asked the life of thine enemies; but hast asked for thyself understanding to discern judgment; Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee. And I have also given thee that which thou hast not asked, both riches, and honour: so that there shall not be any among the kings like unto thee all thy days. And if thou wilt walk in my ways, to keep my statutes and my commandments, as thy father David did walk, then I will lengthen thy days.” 𝐴𝑚𝑒𝑛!

—卂♡︎

A Little Light🔆

“A lot of people are suffering in silence and not doing well right now•••• Try to move in the most loving awareness” Be mindful of the meaning of this Holy Week, it’s isn’t so that you can eat and be merry only, but also to look around you; showing love to the unloved, even to the ones most difficult to love•••look in the eyes of the lonely souls, assuring them that they’re not alone•••giving a home to the homeless, (a home can be a physical home, mental, emotional or a spiritual home)•••understanding the one who’s misunderstood•••tolerating the intolerable•••giving room for others to grow•••For this Holy Week, present yourself as ᒪIᘜᕼT, as ᒪOᐯᗴ, as ᑭᗴᗩcᗴ•••be a Servant of Peace ☮︎︎

P•S: You may be the one who’s unloved, lonely, misunderstood, homeless, etc•••Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself•••you’re loved, you’re an army; a mountain that refuses to be dismantled•••you’re peace, and an endless resource of light 🔆

—卂♡︎☮︎︎

Depression is Real•••

Let’s talk about how hard it is to get up from bed because you feel so numb with your thoughts. Thoughts that make you think you’re not good enough••• Let’s talk about how you don’t feel like eating, and all you want to do is to just lay in your bed and give in to these negative thoughts•••ꪶꫀ𝓽,ᦔ 𝓽ꪖꪶ𝘬 ꪖ᥇ꪮꪊ𝓽 𝓽ꫝꪖ𝓽!☹︎