A page from my diary•••

2020 has been gruesome; it has been bloody, unkind, and unfair; it is a year that has shined a light into the cruelty in humans, as well as their vulnerability. 

“It is not a year that has come to cure the darkness around us or in us; instead, it has come to remind some of us to rise above this darkness. Unlike light, which is essentially light, darkness is heavy, and this year has been heavy”

We must do the best we can to shake this darkness off before it holds us and tie us to the ground. We must do our best to Erase this darkness day by day and allow the light to shine through us.

Merry Christmas ♡︎

What will Jesus Do?!

—Being a Christian means emulating the life of Jesus~ it means living the life that Jesus lived— loving one another, correcting in love, accepting, forgiving, interceeding, spreading the word, forbearing, showing compassion, etc.; these and many Jesus did, which we ought to do or at least imitate— Yet we choose and pick when we must act like Jesus~ Oh you hypocrites and servants of the flesh!


Someone who has a mental illness can still smile, laugh, go to work or school. They may say they’re fine••• the point is, sometimes mental illness is invisible•••, and sometimes people struggling with mental illness will choose to talk to the voices in their head more than talking to people about their struggles due to fear of being judged and the labels associated with mental illness•••
Be Gentle


Some people are born with these qualities: Empathy, Compassion, Love, and Gracefulness…no matter who they are or where they are in life, rich or poor, able or disabled, you can find these attributes in them… Some people aren’t born with it, yet they learn or are taught. While it is easy for some to learn these qualities, others struggle to learn…The reason why some people struggle to learn these qualities is because of their intentions behind it…So, before you learn, ask yourself why it essential for you to be kind, show empathy, or love? If you can’t answer these questions, you can’t learn them or show them—


Many of us are servants of God, and that’s not enough; we must desire to become friends with God, not just servants. When you’re friends with someone, you’re loyal to each other, and you share secrets; that’s how our relationship with God must be.

God called Abraham “His friend” because Abraham was loyal to God, and when God was about to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah, He thought about His friendship with Abraham (Genesis 18:16-33). The Lord God considered Abraham a friend enough to reveal His plans against Sodom and Gomorrah and even gave Abraham the chance to plead on behalf of Sodom and Gomorrah.

We must yearn for such a relationship with God if we want to understand who God is, for Him to reveal His plans to us; we must seek to go deeper into the realms of His secret place. The first step is being loyal to God—

Unfortunately, some of us can’t even be loyal to ourselves, let alone friends!
Oh, Mercy!!
We must try!
For Heaven’s sake, we must do better—



One thing that can destroy a person is not able to believe in themselves••• Insecurity has become a disease affecting many lives, and we don’t talk enough about it•••It is a contributing factor to depression, low self-esteem, anxiety, eating disorders, and substance use disorders, etc.

We all have something that we’re insecure about, but some people have it worse. For these people, they’re not able to live a normal lifestyle•••Most often people are shamed or blamed for feeling insecure; especially on social media•••but, we don’t think of what might have contributed to their insecurity•••

Before you judge someone for being insecure, consider what or who made them felt the need to be less satisfied in themselves•••Most people don’t just develop insecurity; something or someone might have been the cause of it•••Not everyone has a solid mental attitude to continue being optimistic when they’re being torn down. Eventually, some people do break down and don’t recover•••Instead of being hard on someone with insecurity; especially in relationships, try to be understanding, don’t add to their insecurity•••be patience with them while they learn to be confident in themselves again•••#handlewithcare



Hey, warrior! Yes, I’m talking to you, reading this message… So a couple of months ago, I doubted myself a bit because I didn’t get chosen for something that I had prayed for, for a while (scratch that, someone said I shouldn’t say “prayed” but instead say praying for since the prayer hasn’t been answered…kinda makes sense)…Anyway, so I didn’t get chosen. I honestly thought something is wrong with me, or maybe I don’t deserve to be selected…My anxiety set in, and I started overthinking this whole situation and every decision I have made in my life…I felt sorry for myself…

But after some encouragement from some great friends I have, I started to believe in myself again…that there’s more to life than not being chosen…Life goes on…I said to myself, screw not being chosen, I AM ANNA. I don’t give up— So instead of having a mindset of “I’ve stopped praying because I prayed for it and I didn’t get it,”…I change my attitude to “I will continue to pray for it until I have it, and I will continue to pray to maintain it”…I also added another twist to my prayer, I asked God to give me peace in my heart and mind so that I will be at peace with myself while waiting for an answer (p.s: this wasn’t just an “our father prayer,” sometimes you got to get on your knees and have a serious conversation with God…that’s the kind of prayer I’m talking about).

Maybe you were expecting to be chosen, or you have been praying for something, and when the time came, you didn’t get selected…It doesn’t mean you’re not worth it, or something is wrong with you…YOU ARE PERFECTLY NORMAL AND WORTHY OF EVERYTHING GOOD! Just because it hasn’t happened doesn’t mean it won’t; even if it doesn’t happen, there’s more to life than feeling sorry for yourself…It is hard to hear and hard to do, but find a suitable space to be happy regardless of what you have or don’t have…and don’t give up praying for the things you don’t have…most importantly, pray to be at peace with yourself regardless…

Until then, I’ll stay peaceful in my heart and mind and continue to pray…and do what’s in the picture attached🧘🏾‍♀️


Judas wasn’t an Enemy•••

It’s not everyone who’s against you in life, is an enemy, especially when they are family member•••that’s one man’s opinion (me). Don’t get me wrong, there’s evil in some people, but I also think sometimes people fall victims to the stressors of life•••spiritually speaking, the devil always uses people to do his dirty works•••

Connecting to the Bible: In Luke 22:3-6, it says: “Then entered Satan into Judas surnamed Iscariot, being of the number of the twelve. And he went his way and communed with the chief priests and captains, how he might betray him (Jesus) unto them. And they were glad and covenanted to give him money. And he promised, and sought opportunity to betray him unto them in the absence of the multitude.” ‬‬I believe it was Judas job to betray Jesus, and Jesus knew this and why it has to happen•••Jesus never referred to Judas as His enemy; never once did He called him an enemy•••He still cared for Judas.

We might not understand why some people will want to cause pain to others•••most often, why people close to us will hurt us•••the thing is•••some people don’t have enough strength or ability to resist the compulsion to engage in evil•••everyone is born with both good and dark side, the one we feed on more surfaces •••some people are good at disciplining themselves and restricting their dark side•••other aren’t•••

In Christianity, we attribute this strength to overcome sin to walking cautiously in spirit•••Galatians 5:16-26 “So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other so that you are not to do whatever you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking, and envying each other.” ‭

So sometimes people who inflict pain on us might be victims as well•••we may not see it as such•••and it will take grace to come to such realization, to see someone who has hurt us as a victim who needs our help•••a victim in need of our forgiveness and loving-kindness•••


Understand the Difference

There’s a difference between knowing who you are as a person and loving yourself•••some people can understand themselves too well to know what is good for them versus what is not good, but they might not love or have the courage enough to go for what is suitable for them•••someone can have a good understanding of who they are and what can be beneficial to them but still settle for a mediocre life due to lack of confidence or not having enough love oneself•••

If you know who you are and you love yourself, you then have the confidence to take a chance•••and there are likelihoods of you making the right decisions for your life•••

If you know yourself and love yourself, you’ll not put yourself in a situation that goes against your values and morals•••There’s a Difference~



Aha moment…

Working with children or the youth population hasn’t been one of my favorite jobs. The reason is that I easily get affected by the trauma or whatever struggle they have experienced or are experiencing. I hate to see people, especially someone younger than me, struggles in life for something that they didn’t cause. There have been many times I have cried after listening to a client because I couldn’t bear hearing and seeing a person so young go through so much pain in life.

I had a conversation with a friend about how so many youths are struggling with mental illness. I told him how I mostly get upset with some parents for bringing a child into this world to suffer (Note: I’m referring to the parents who play a part or are the cause of their child’s trauma or mental illness ). Anyway, I said this to my friend, and he replied to me so calmly and so passionately, “no, don’t say that.”… he then continued to say that “every child that is born in this world is destined to be born, and they all have a purpose in this life, and sometimes some people need a background story for their purpose in life.” (p.s: it was one of those aha moments for me)

There is a possibility that some of these children/youth who are struggling with these mental illnesses due to trauma or whatever may be the cause of these struggle, they will overcome these battle. There is hope that things will turn around for these children, and they will become something great in life…and they will have a story to tell …a tale of how they overcame their worse moment in life at a young age…aha moments

P.s: In the spirit of Mental Health Awareness Month, I’ll encourage us all to be mindful, extra kinder, practice/speak hope, spread the awareness of mental health…check on each other, especially the youth and children; sometimes mental illness is not visible, and people with this type of mental illness needs extra love…lookout for signs and symptoms that seems odd or out of the blue from people around you…trust me, it is not easy having your own mind wrestling against you…check out NAMI website for more information about mental health…Be Humane